6 MAy

06 May 2007
60th birthday continued

The 60th birthday that my mum wasn't celebrating continued yesterday with an outing to the Isle of Wight. Going there is always like going back to the 1950s. On the bus I heard a woman resident say that she hadn't been to one of the main island towns for a few years - bearing in mind that the island is something like 20 miles long by 15 miles wide, this seemed like quite an impressive achievement.

I'd looked up what was happening there yesterday, and discovered it was the first day of their walking festival. It was being opened by a speed dating ramble. There was also going to be a speed dating dog walk. I think it was the owners looking for a date not the dogs, but I'm not certain. I did suggest that speed dating ramble to my mum, but she wasn't keen. I'm not sure whether she was more alarmed at the thought of the speed dating or the rambling. At Bonus Lady's suggestion I did wear my glittery stiletto walking boots just in case, but I didn't spot anyone giving them admiring glances.
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60th

My mum was 60 this week. I was under strict instructions not to tell anyone or make a fuss, an instruction disregarded by her work colleagues. One of them in particular has spent the last 3 months telling every patient that came in to the dental surgery that they were 'celebrating a big birthday this year', and on the day itself canvassed every patient to see if any of them would sing happy birthday (they wouldn't). Her colleagues also decided it would be a good idea for me to get my mum to go out to a 'family' meal, and her work friends would be there when we arrived. Sounds quite reasonable, except that my mum has always said she'd rather die than have a surprise birthday party - and I don't think she's exaggerating. So after a little surreptitious texting of my sister, we decided that the thing to do was agree to the meal but tell my mum as well, to remove the alarming surprise element.

This plan worked fine, although it did test my mum's acting skills on the night. We also couldn't tell my grandma, for fear that she'd announce something along the lines of "yes, they told me you'd be here but we had to pretend it's a surprise." My gran doesn't do subtlety. I'm not sure she ever did, but it's definitely got worse as she's got older.She also spent the whole evening calling my mum's boss 'the guvnor', with my mum hissing 'she's called the DENTIST' at intervals. Come to think of it, my gran may have become more Cockney as well as less subtle as she's got older...