V (deaf, 84 yrs old): Mmm, this dinner is nice. [without drawing breath] S, how tall are you?
S: Er, 5'2" I think.
V: My daughter is 5' when stretched, and this wide [holds out index finger and thumb in a loop].
S (who missed the hand gesture): She's how wide?
V: Why? Well she's just built that way, that's why.
S: No, how wide?
V: Why what?
Intervened at this point to avoid death by dinner conversation....
I'd also like to make it clear that even though I might look like I'm 5'4", I am in fact 5'9 when STRETCHED.
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