Someone pointed out to me that parents might love their adult children without accepting their lifestyle. Fair point, and that kind of idea was in my mind when I was writing the last post, it just never quite made it on to the page. Some of the parents in the film said exactly that. Perhaps this kind of thing would be an explanation for the 'separating father from son' type imagery?
My only additional thoughts would be that often, although by no means always, this idea of not accepting the 'gay' lifestyle works better if it is implicitly assumed that being gay is in fact a sort of choice, or at least can be changed. (And of course the idea that being in an active gay relationship is wrong, but I'm not trying to leap into that debate here.) I suspect, though, this idea that orientation is chosen, or is always the result of some kind of trauma, is going out of fashion, although perhaps not in the US Bible belt if the film is anything to go by. Which leaves us in the position of telling gay christians that they are not at fault for who they are, but that they must resign themselves to permanent celibacy. Not just that they have to stay single until they meet someone they can marry, but that (unless there is a change in their orientation), they will definitely be single, and therefore missing out on that form of intimacy, for the whole of their lives.
Well, you could say that that that's just how it is, and not exclusive to gay people, and I guess that's true. You could also point to problems with our society or culture that prioritise individual romantic/sexual relationships and devalue other forms of relationship or fulfilment, and I think that's also true. But I suspect this conclusion (permanent celibacy) is easier to come to if a) you prioritise rationality/reason/logic over experience and emotion (as modern conservative evangelicalism tends to do) and b) if it doesn't really affect you. If the conclusion is 'correct', on one level it doesn't matter who makes it. But on another level, it does feel as though it matters when heterosexual married christians are coming to these conclusions on behalf of gay christians.
1 comment:
Interesting thoughts.
I got asked about homosexuality at an 'ask a theologian' night with the youth and started by saying that as I was heterosexual, and most of the people in the room were presumably too, I had enough trouble with what I had to do as a straight person (ie not be lustful, be faithful to my wife etc)
I think straight people should start the conversation at that point. It's harder for one thing. Then perhaps people will stop finding it necessary to comment on issues that don't affect them.
Just an opinion though.
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